What’s the difference between dad jokes and pizza? Dad jokes can’t be topped.
The ‘best dad jokes’ have been compiled after a poll identified what Americans consider to be the top 20 cheesy gags that fathers like to try on anyone within ear shot.
The 2,000 adults voted this one to be the most popular: ‘This graveyard looks crowded—people must be dying to get in’.
Another groan-inducing joke: ‘I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down’.
Just in time for Father’s Day, Papa Johns commissioned the survey and announced its ‘Papa Jokes’ campaign on Twitter.
“Dad jokes are a proud tradition,” said a spokesperson for the company. They tweeted, asking people to share their best dad joke using #PapaJokes for #FathersDay.
“If it’s a groan-inducing pun or punchline that only the teller finds hilarious, rest assured, no matter who tells it—it’s a dad joke.”
Six in 10 respondents admitted to being amused by dad jokes, but 67 percent find them ‘cringeworthy’ at the same time.
40 percent of respondents report they’ve gone their whole lives without telling a single terrible one-liner so far.
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But of those who have, 80 percent say they cracked themselves up, even if nobody else laughed.
Of the jokesters who have kids, 39 percent say their attempts at humor bring nothing but embarrassment to the youth. Unfortunately for the kids, this only spurs adults to make even more terrible wisecracks.
Thinking about their own fathers, 47% remember them as being amusing, with 12 percent describing their dad as ‘very funny’. Overall, three in 10 believe the gags formed some of their favorite memories of dad.
From the survey (conducted by OnePoll), it’s likely that being memorable is a better reason for being a jester than actually being funny—as so many people remember their dads for them.
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Pro dad tip: add in a silly accent—ideally, to make the joke deeply embarrassing for your kids.
TOP 20 FAVORITE DAD JOKES…
1. ‘This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be dying to get in.’
2. ‘I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down’
3. Q: ‘Dad, can you put my shoes on? A: ‘I don’t think they’ll fit me.’
4. ‘I used to hate facial hair…but then it grew on me.’
5. Q: ‘Can you put the dog out?’ A: ‘I didn’t know it was on fire.’
6. What car does Jesus drive? A Chrysler
7. ‘Ah, this takes me back’ (when putting the car into reverse)
8. ‘I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y.’
9. ‘What do you call a magician who lost their magic? Ian.’
10. Q: ‘How do I look?’ A: ‘With your eyes.’
11. Q: ‘Dad, did you get a haircut?’ A: ‘No, I got them all cut!’
12. ‘I’m afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered.’
13. ‘Wanna hear a joke about a pizza? Never mind, it’s too cheesy’
14. ‘I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey, but I turned myself around.’
15. ‘I was driving to town and saw the sign Chicago-Left, so I turned around and went home.’
16. ‘What did one wall say to the other?’ ‘I’ll meet you at the corner.’
17. ‘I used to be addicted to soap, but I’m clean now.’
18. ‘How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.’
19. ‘Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera’
20. ‘Why do seagulls fly over the ocean?’ ‘Because if they flew over the bay, we’d call them bagels.’
WISH a HAPPY Father’s Day on Social Media by Sharing the Beloved Dad Jokes…