Jack is back on Fridays, after both of us having been overseas, with his spiritual metaphors and acronyms. The acronym for today is: D.E.N.I.A.L. (Discordant Energy Negating In Accepting Love)
As a musician of some years now my mind tends to rely on the art of music to describe personal experiences (in this case, my moments of denial.)
To be in discord in music is to suggest an instrument is out of tune or not in harmony with itself. If you ever had an opportunity to hear a guitar player strum his or her guitar it’s very easy to “hear” that discord sound from the strings when out of tune. Often times the listener reveals facial expressions as if eating something sour or spoiled. In this case our ears know when something is in harmony with itself or in discord with itself.
Denial can be represented as a discord to our thoughts, words and actions. How often I would find myself Living In Exile and choosing to believe that my current relationships are an acceptable compromise, comfortably numb or happily bored reality. These choices left me in a state of low level agitation. An underlying annoyance that can be drowned out by technologies’ surround sound bells and high definition whistles. Or the excitement of relationship drama or the anticipation of evening social activities. In any case no matter which distraction I chose when lying in bed I would feel that agitation emerge once again. At times I felt this tightness in my stomach that would cause me to catch my breath as if to slip into reality for a moment. My body revealed aches and pains expressing the desire to be free of this mental indecision I was holding on to.
What is this mental indecision I wondered? Through this acronym I discovered that I continually judged myself into negating in accepting love. I was unable to even whisper the words I love you truthfully to myself or to others. Louis Hay suggests looking into the mirror every morning saying “I love you”. Ugh, I squirmed, how is this possible? That’s selfish I thought or rationalized what does that prove?
Because I chose to remain in DENIAL, in time my physical body became more pronounced in rebelling of my choices. My body image suffered, my complexion, my choice of foods, my choice of relationships, my choice of working for the money all started to take its toll on my physical being. I was aging at an accelerated rate and my hair began falling out within months. I was suffering from depression and low self esteem. It was a spiral downwards in all aspects of my life.
So how did I shift the momentum? I acknowledged that I have denials and began the process of taking inventory of the web of compromises I agreed to in my past. I suspended all mental negotiations with myself and others and began the step by step process of weeding out the beliefs that perpetuated my DENIAL state. Some choices were easier than others, eventually I gained momentum to face the challenging ones and freed my mind, my body and my spirit from ever making agreements about my life without listening to my intuition or feelings equally. No longer was my rational mind the sole decision maker of my life choices. No longer did I agree to believe in something regardless of who is telling me. My commitment is an agreement to practice utilizing both logic and intuition together side by side in my day to day decisions.
My denials were the results of choices made by an imitation me. IMITATIONS are LIMITATIONS to living life to the fullest expression of our being.
Next week’s acronym C.O.N.T.R.O.L.
Listen to Jack’s soothing voice as he describes more powerful acronyms on his website www.sciencesofspirituality.org.
John Nickolas Barakitis is the founder of Sciences of Spirituality a project of the Congressional District Programs a 501(c)(3) non-profit company. As educators and practitioners in holistic massage therapy and Reiki, John and his wife Sona offer products and services to Inspire, Enhance and Heal through music and the spoken word. For more information visit www.sciencesofspirituality.org
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