For millions of Chinese women, this road-tripping grandmother divorcè is an inspirational figure of freedom from convention.
Separating from an abusive, violent husband, she has spent the last four years traveling around her vast country all alone, while amassing a gargantuan social media following that refers to her affectionately as “auntie.”
Reporting from Beijing, BBC’s Chinese correspondent Laura Bicker spoke with social media celebrity Su Min about her adventures and the marriage she has worked hard to terminate.
“I was a traditional woman and I wanted to stay in my marriage for life,” she says. “But eventually I saw that I got nothing in return for all my energy and effort—only beatings, violence, emotional abuse, and gaslighting.”
Virtually, her whole life has been that of a traditional Confucian woman, supporting her brothers, then supporting her husband, then supporting her daughter, and then supporting her granddaughters.
Throughout it all, however, life was brutally hard with her husband, whom she married via arrangement.
Diagnosed with depression after nearly 40 years together, she made an agreement with her daughter that after the grandkids had left Kindergarten, she would leave her husband—a promise she kept in the most extraordinary way after watching a TikTok video of a couple living together in a van and traveling the country.
She thought this was her way out.
Even the country’s COVID-19 response couldn’t stop Su Min, who told her husband in 2019 that they were finished and entered into divorce court where she paid out a settlement of around $21,000. Shortly thereafter, she was on the road in a VW hatchback with a rooftop tent, a pension, and true liberty.
Her followers call her the “road-tripping auntie,” and she was named one of BBC’s 100 most influential women of the year.
“We women are not just someone’s wife or mother… Let’s live for ourselves!” wrote one follower of Su’s on a video.
Another mentioned the settlement was “worth every penny,” adding it was her turn to “see the world and live a vibrant, unrestrained life.”
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Over the last 48 months, she has driven in 3 different cars across 20 Chinese provinces, and through 400 cities. She hopes to take her travels internationally but is afraid of language barriers.
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Many of the travel experiences she enjoys are little acts of defiance, allegorically even, in the face of her old life—not just visiting a street market in her home province of Henan, but stopping to smell the chili peppers her husband forbade her from bringing into the home.
Su never imagined becoming a figure of inspiration, but believes that all women, no matter where they’re from or what their circumstances are, must be good to themselves.
“I want to tell you that no matter how old you are, as long as you work hard, you will definitely find your answer. Just like me, even though I’m 60 now, I found what I was looking for,” she said.
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